Episode 10 of The Next Page is available for download!

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In this week’s episode, we are talking about the “D” word, the behaviors that characterize the “D” word, and much more.

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Lastly, we’d love to hear from you! Send comments, questions, or discussion ideas to Marisa at [email protected].

Happy Listening!

Marisa Norcross & David Freund

Did You Just Call Me the “D” Word?
By: David Freund, Chief Leadership Officer

I’m sorry, but there is no way I am or have ever been a diminisher!  I value people far too much to ever fall into that trap. My goal is to enlarge people and help them grow so they can reach their full potential. I am what Liz Wiseman calls a multiplier.          

Well, at least that’s the way I thought I was coming across.

Last year at Live2Lead, Liz talked about accidental diminishers, and I saw an entirely new version of me. Yes, I need to admit that I was an accidental diminisher.

Perhaps the best place to start is to give you a simple definition: A multiplier is a person who works to bring out the best in others. They have high expectations for their team members and act as the encourager. Multipliers challenge their team to achieve greater results and practice higher levels of thinking. Conversely, a diminisher is someone who shuts people down and ends up holding them back. The great danger is when we aren’t even aware that we have become a diminisher. Here are three of the six accidental diminisher behaviors that Liz Wiseman identified in her research:

• Idea Guy – You are the person that runs in with new ideas all the time. You read an article, hear a podcast, and you are ready to share it with everyone. The problem is, you are actually shutting people down rather than inspiring them. They start to wait for your ideas rather than think for themselves. To counteract this tendency, just ask more questions. It’s that simple, just ask great questions.
• Always On – You are the Energizer You have answers for everyone’s questions. In most situations, you speak too soon and say too much. Your energy level is so high that you dominate the office. To counteract this tendency, carry around four poker chips in your pocket. Each time you speak move a chip to the other pocket. When the chips are gone, you’re done for the day. Play your chips carefully.
• Rescuer – You wait for someone to need your help and then you rush in because you can solve the problem. In reality, you are the problem and the team isn’t thinking anymore, and they have become conditioned to let you solve everything. Rather than solve the problems, give them back to the team with some tools to help solve them.

I never knew that I was an accidental diminisher. It goes against everything that I believe in, and yet I fell into several of the traps. By learning these behaviors, you too can engage the proper tools and move from a diminisher to a multiplier.

Please join Marisa and me on The Next Page podcast as we explore all six of the accidental diminisher behaviors and the tools to counter act them.

How Do You Define Leadership?
By: Randy Wolken, President & CEO

How do you define leadership?  I define it as a “sacred trust” that I have been gifted with.  I know it probably sounds old-fashioned.  Maybe it was my upbringing.  Maybe it was my time at West Point and in the Army.  But, mostly I think it comes from the successful leaders I have had the privilege of learning from and serving with.  To me, the two words “sacred” and “trust” are critical to leadership.

Sacred can mean different things to different people.  In this context, I mean that it is a mystery and inspires awe.  It means we know we don’t do it on our own – we need “help” from the Other – however we define it – and do it with others.   When we practice leadership it should have impacts that are beyond our own self-interests.  It should have consequence, meaning, and a form of grace involved.  The best leaders I have served with had a sense of confidence – and humility.  They knew many answers – but were even better at questions.  They had a presence that spoke to their belief that we could do just about anything – if we did it for the right reasons and did it together.

Second, trust was the currency of their leadership.  You trusted them – implicitly.  Not that they would always get it right, but that they would try their best to get it right.  There is both firmness and gentleness – firm about their resolve and gentle in their process.  They are primarily learners on the journey with their teams.  Not above or removed – but with their team on the journey.  Building trust was their way of doing this – one act of contribution and kindness at a time.  They are legacy leaders – leaving what they found much better than when they assumed leadership responsibilities.  To do this, they need to build genuine trust.

So, how do you define leadership?  What words do you use to describe it? What are the characteristics that mean the most to you?  It’s a good practice to contemplate these questions –  and to share them.  At first, it may be with a trusted mentor or colleague. Then, try sharing it with those you lead or are on a team with.

Can Being Kind Be A Leader’s Competitive Advantage?
By Randy Wolken, President & CEO

In today’s fast-paced, global economy, can kindness be your competitive leadership advantage?  I, for one, think it can be.  It takes all kinds to make a community.  We all know people who fit on all aspects of the “kindness” spectrum.  And in my experience, those individuals who act with kindness, and are known for being kind, succeed as leaders.  Now, that doesn’t mean they are push-overs, soft-on-fundamentals or oblivious-to-reality.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.  They are kind despite living in the same competitive and difficult situations as their colleagues and friends.

Good leaders are constantly challenged by striving to do more or succeeding despite the odds.  That’s why we listen to them, learn from them, and follow them.  However, the truly great ones do this with a kindness that makes being with them special and worth the effort.  Life is hard.  Business is competitive.  Troubles are on the horizon – constantly. The true test of a leader is how they handle them.  When the leader does lead with kindness – everyone notices.  It does truly matter.  Can they laugh and smile even when the chips are down? Can they find the spirit to care for a colleague or friend when they are hurting? Will they show up and lend a hand when it truly matters?  These are ways leaders can be kind.

Great leaders do what they do with a generous spirit of service.  Great leaders notice everyone and their contributions and are grateful and thankful for them.  Great leaders can be firm but gentle with others when they make mistakes and encourage the person to try again.

These are all examples I have seen of leaders demonstrating kindness.  I have been with great leaders who are great because they are both kind and effective.  And, I am most certain they would not be so great if they were not also so kind and desirable to be with.  So, during this season of reflection and joy, who are your hero leaders?  Are they kind?  Could greater kindness be your competitive advantage as a leader?  Having met so many wonderful leaders, I put kindness at the top of the qualities I look for and so do many of the people I meet.  During this Holiday Season, it’s a good time to increase your competitiveness – by focusing on being just a little kinder.  I guarantee it will make you – and those you lead and work with – happier and more successful.

Circumstances
By: David Freund, Chief Leadership Officer

Writer James Allen wrote, “Circumstances do not make a man; they reveal him.”

So often we hear people complaining about situations that they are in. Perhaps it is their boss, manager, or company in general. As a society, we have become prone to engage in this type of victim mentality. It is always someone else’s fault. If our children get a bad grade, it is the teacher’s fault. If they do not get enough playing time, it is the coach’s fault. We cannot get ahead because of the economy. If we get a speeding ticket, we wonder why we were singled out. Didn’t the officer see all those other people going much faster? Was James Allen correct? Do circumstances simply reveal who we truly are?

In his book “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn,” John Maxwell writes, “Adversity writes our story and if our response is right, the story will be good.” John went on to write, “Some people treat adversity as a stepping stone, others as a tombstone.” Several years ago, I had a conversation with a good friend that was visiting from out of town. Sam is someone who loved having constant changes taking place in his life. During our conversation, I commented in a rather superior way that I need to have things well planned out and consistent. Shortly after this conversation, my career was turned upside down, and I found myself needing to not only cope with change but make more changes happen. If I am honest, my greatest times of growth were when I met challenges and circumstances that seemed to be against me. They forced me out of my comfort zone and caused me to reflect on who I am and what I believe in. Sometimes they cause me to see that I am not the person that I think I am. To admit that I am the problem or not yet up to the task is always a tough pill to swallow.

Seeing is only the beginning, and then I need to decide how to act. To be completely honest, I frequently start by engraving the epitaph on my tombstone but thankfully, and often with the help of others in my life, I am moving away from that practice and on to new learning.

How about you? Is the adversity you are facing a stepping stone to greater things or are you allowing it to be a tombstone bearing the epitaph of your resignation to the most recent circumstance? Do you have others in our life to help you? The choice is really up to you. Choose well; your future depends on it.

Are You Limiting Potential Growth?
By: Randy Wolken, President & CEO

Leaders have a primary responsibility to advance the success of their team members and their organizations.  They can also be inhibitors of the necessary growth of the capabilities of their team.  How can this happen?  Leaders can fail to communicate and demonstrate their willingness to support the learning and growth efforts of others.

Every great outcome achieved by an individual or organization started with the belief that it could be done.  However, most breakthroughs involved learning new capabilities and taking risks.  When leaders don’t communicate their beliefs that it can be done and the willingness to accept risks of temporary setbacks, little progress is made.  Naturally, our teams and organizations play it “safe” and do what has been acceptable in the past.  By its very nature, what we are doing today will likely fall short of what is needed in the future.

So what is a leader to do?  I believe it starts with admitting that each leader’s own journey involves being open to change; learning and using new skills; and experiencing temporary setbacks that need to be overcome to gain success.  Our own stories of struggles, doubts, and outright temporary failures show we are human and successful despite our setbacks.  It also gives leaders permission to open-up about their own doubts, uncertainties, and setbacks.

The speed of change today is transforming how successful our organizations will be.  I am constantly amazed by how technology and risk-taking is helping members thrive and its impact on their short-term and long-term futures.  Creating a growth environment is the best way to expand capabilities and set the tone for future success.  Leadership is needed to foster just such an environment in an on-going and systematic way.

Leaders need to ask themselves some important questions; What were some of the specific situations where I needed to grow? Am I willing to share these situations with my team as an example for them to lean on in their own efforts?  Am I willing to create an environment of growth and risk taking? What changes are necessary in our culture to do so productively?  And, what is one concrete step I can take this week to advance the growth potential of my team members and our organization?  These important questions can spur leaders on to the changes they will need to make in order to take the lid off of the growth potential of their people and company.  This will help everyone be more successful – and happier – in our fast-paced, competitive world.

Are You Being Proactive Enough?
By: Randy Wolken

The question a leader needs to ask themselves every single day of every week is if they are being proactive enough.  In today’s fast paced world, the whirlwind, or the day-to-day, is what grabs our attention.  It’s what our team and our schedules reflect.  Often, the important but not urgent gets put off until tomorrow – and then to the next day. Time gets away and months later what was important is still not urgent.

Some simple techniques can be helpful in becoming more proactive.  First, using the 10/10/10 rule.  The 10/10/10 rule asks if it will be important in 10 minutes, in 10 months, and in 10 years.  Many of the things we get focused on may pass one of the first two tests of being important in the next 10 minutes and the next 10 months – but not the last test of being important in 10 years.  Having a long enough time horizon and ensuring we are working on the longer term as a part of each day is vital for our ultimate success – and our team’s future.

Another technique is to ask yourself what you would recommend to another person as their focus.  Let’s be honest, we often get emotionally attached to our own tasks and projects.  We have a hard time being objective.  But, what would we recommend to a best friend concerning their priorities?  Would we challenge them to be more bold and courageous?  Would we tell them to focus on the big picture?  Would we tell them to do the things that will make them and their business more competitive in 10 years – and not just today?  Sure we would! We need to step back and offer ourselves and our team the same honest assessment and encouragement.

Time and our attention are our most important assets as leaders.  We only have today that we can truly impact.  How are we using our days?  Are we using the 10/10/10 rule?  Would we recommend our priority efforts to a close friend for their success?  One method I use is to ask myself a key list of questions each morning.  It can help me set my priorities for each day.  I review MACNY’s and my personal long-term plans – each day.  Each of these tools can help a leader stay grounded while reaching for the future.

What’s your routine to remain proactive and productive each day?  If you don’t yet have one, today is a good day to start.

When Do You Feed Your Creativity?
Randy Wolken, President & CEO

When do you take the time to feed your creative side?  The daily grind often leaves little space for creativity. As a leader, you will need to be intentional about being creative. In today’s fast paced world, it cannot happen on its own.

Recently, I took a vacation and got away from the daily grind. For the first few days it was difficult to separate from my work. But as I let it go, I began to relax and enjoy my time away. This is a pattern that many leaders feel when they get away.  Throughout the first few days the brain desires the daily grind.  It is our daily habit.  It’s what we do.  Then, slowly, we begin to settle in to a more gentle rhythm.  We can find this rhythm that opens us up to what is possible – in the future – and not just now.

When we get away we give ourselves room to gain perspective. What seems critical while in the middle of the daily grind becomes less important and the strategic reemerges. Leaders are tasked with both the now and the future, but it’s the now that usually grabs the bulk of our attention. When we take time off, we can again assess what is truly strategic and vital to our team and our business.

Getting away and finding our better selves also reminds us that we need to do this on a routine basis even without talking large amounts of time off. How do we remain creative during the rush of the day-to-day? Like anything we want to get done – we need to schedule it and be intentional about it. If we pay attention, we begin to know where we can best gain perspective. Sometimes it is behind a closed door and some scheduled planning time.  Sometimes it is at the local coffee shop or at home in our favorite chair.  We can find this place and this space if we look for it and spend time actually using this space.

It all starts with recognizing we need it – and so do our businesses.  It continues when we encourage other leaders in our organization to take time off and seek to gain perspective also.  So, where do you find your creativity and inspiration? Where do you go to allow yourself to escape the daily grind and rejuvenate?  When will you do it next?  Will you encourage your team to do the same? There is no better time than now to plan you next “creativity session.”  You need it as a leader.  And, your business and your team need it from you.

Time
By: David Freund

Recently I have been having difficulty with time. I just never have enough of it. It seems that there is always way too much to do and simply not enough time.  Michael Hyatt, former President and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing said, “Time is a zero-sum game. Similar to a tug-of-war, the length of the rope never changes.” Each one of us has a finite number of years, months, weeks, days, hours, and yes minutes. Your calendar is also a zero-sum game.

How many things do you add to your calendar or to-do-list without thinking? So many good things, each requiring only a short amount of time. Perhaps just an hour or two, then before you know it, your calendar and to-do-list are full. Worse yet, you do not even add them to your calendar; you just commit to doing them and deal with the ramifications later. When will you get the important things done? When will you have time to invest in your family or in your professional or personal growth. When will you be able to truly focus?

Steve Jobs put it best when he said, “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you have got to focus on. But that is not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. I am actually as proud of the things we have not done as I am the things we have.”   As I reflected on that statement, it became clear to me that I needed to make better choices. If I am going to say yes to one thing I am actually saying no to something else. Since my time is finite, there will need to be trade-offs. Sometimes we need to say no to the good to make time for the best.

When you are faced with the many “good” things that others want you to agree to do, what will you choose to say yes to or no to?

Choose well!