Did You Just Call Me the “D” Word?
By: David Freund, Chief Leadership Officer

I’m sorry, but there is no way I am or have ever been a diminisher!  I value people far too much to ever fall into that trap. My goal is to enlarge people and help them grow so they can reach their full potential. I am what Liz Wiseman calls a multiplier.          

Well, at least that’s the way I thought I was coming across.

Last year at Live2Lead, Liz talked about accidental diminishers, and I saw an entirely new version of me. Yes, I need to admit that I was an accidental diminisher.

Perhaps the best place to start is to give you a simple definition: A multiplier is a person who works to bring out the best in others. They have high expectations for their team members and act as the encourager. Multipliers challenge their team to achieve greater results and practice higher levels of thinking. Conversely, a diminisher is someone who shuts people down and ends up holding them back. The great danger is when we aren’t even aware that we have become a diminisher. Here are three of the six accidental diminisher behaviors that Liz Wiseman identified in her research:

• Idea Guy – You are the person that runs in with new ideas all the time. You read an article, hear a podcast, and you are ready to share it with everyone. The problem is, you are actually shutting people down rather than inspiring them. They start to wait for your ideas rather than think for themselves. To counteract this tendency, just ask more questions. It’s that simple, just ask great questions.
• Always On – You are the Energizer You have answers for everyone’s questions. In most situations, you speak too soon and say too much. Your energy level is so high that you dominate the office. To counteract this tendency, carry around four poker chips in your pocket. Each time you speak move a chip to the other pocket. When the chips are gone, you’re done for the day. Play your chips carefully.
• Rescuer – You wait for someone to need your help and then you rush in because you can solve the problem. In reality, you are the problem and the team isn’t thinking anymore, and they have become conditioned to let you solve everything. Rather than solve the problems, give them back to the team with some tools to help solve them.

I never knew that I was an accidental diminisher. It goes against everything that I believe in, and yet I fell into several of the traps. By learning these behaviors, you too can engage the proper tools and move from a diminisher to a multiplier.

Please join Marisa and me on The Next Page podcast as we explore all six of the accidental diminisher behaviors and the tools to counter act them.

Circumstances
By: David Freund, Chief Leadership Officer

Writer James Allen wrote, “Circumstances do not make a man; they reveal him.”

So often we hear people complaining about situations that they are in. Perhaps it is their boss, manager, or company in general. As a society, we have become prone to engage in this type of victim mentality. It is always someone else’s fault. If our children get a bad grade, it is the teacher’s fault. If they do not get enough playing time, it is the coach’s fault. We cannot get ahead because of the economy. If we get a speeding ticket, we wonder why we were singled out. Didn’t the officer see all those other people going much faster? Was James Allen correct? Do circumstances simply reveal who we truly are?

In his book “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn,” John Maxwell writes, “Adversity writes our story and if our response is right, the story will be good.” John went on to write, “Some people treat adversity as a stepping stone, others as a tombstone.” Several years ago, I had a conversation with a good friend that was visiting from out of town. Sam is someone who loved having constant changes taking place in his life. During our conversation, I commented in a rather superior way that I need to have things well planned out and consistent. Shortly after this conversation, my career was turned upside down, and I found myself needing to not only cope with change but make more changes happen. If I am honest, my greatest times of growth were when I met challenges and circumstances that seemed to be against me. They forced me out of my comfort zone and caused me to reflect on who I am and what I believe in. Sometimes they cause me to see that I am not the person that I think I am. To admit that I am the problem or not yet up to the task is always a tough pill to swallow.

Seeing is only the beginning, and then I need to decide how to act. To be completely honest, I frequently start by engraving the epitaph on my tombstone but thankfully, and often with the help of others in my life, I am moving away from that practice and on to new learning.

How about you? Is the adversity you are facing a stepping stone to greater things or are you allowing it to be a tombstone bearing the epitaph of your resignation to the most recent circumstance? Do you have others in our life to help you? The choice is really up to you. Choose well; your future depends on it.

Are You Limiting Potential Growth?
By: Randy Wolken, President & CEO

Leaders have a primary responsibility to advance the success of their team members and their organizations.  They can also be inhibitors of the necessary growth of the capabilities of their team.  How can this happen?  Leaders can fail to communicate and demonstrate their willingness to support the learning and growth efforts of others.

Every great outcome achieved by an individual or organization started with the belief that it could be done.  However, most breakthroughs involved learning new capabilities and taking risks.  When leaders don’t communicate their beliefs that it can be done and the willingness to accept risks of temporary setbacks, little progress is made.  Naturally, our teams and organizations play it “safe” and do what has been acceptable in the past.  By its very nature, what we are doing today will likely fall short of what is needed in the future.

So what is a leader to do?  I believe it starts with admitting that each leader’s own journey involves being open to change; learning and using new skills; and experiencing temporary setbacks that need to be overcome to gain success.  Our own stories of struggles, doubts, and outright temporary failures show we are human and successful despite our setbacks.  It also gives leaders permission to open-up about their own doubts, uncertainties, and setbacks.

The speed of change today is transforming how successful our organizations will be.  I am constantly amazed by how technology and risk-taking is helping members thrive and its impact on their short-term and long-term futures.  Creating a growth environment is the best way to expand capabilities and set the tone for future success.  Leadership is needed to foster just such an environment in an on-going and systematic way.

Leaders need to ask themselves some important questions; What were some of the specific situations where I needed to grow? Am I willing to share these situations with my team as an example for them to lean on in their own efforts?  Am I willing to create an environment of growth and risk taking? What changes are necessary in our culture to do so productively?  And, what is one concrete step I can take this week to advance the growth potential of my team members and our organization?  These important questions can spur leaders on to the changes they will need to make in order to take the lid off of the growth potential of their people and company.  This will help everyone be more successful – and happier – in our fast-paced, competitive world.

Gratitude
By: David Freund

Have we lost the ability to be grateful? Have we as a nation lost perspective? Have we forgotten how truly blessed we are?

My mom and her parents fled Europe as the winds of war began to blow in the late 1930s. As a seven-year-old, she recalls going to the butcher shop near their home and asking the butcher for a nickel’s worth of bologna, sliced thin. She also shared that dinner was often one piece of meat, cooked in fat. The meat was for my grandfather. My mom, aunt, and grandmother would dip a slice of bread in the drippings. They were poor, but you would never hear them say that. They were always grateful for the blessings they had rather than musing about the things they did not. My grandmother was one of the most grateful people I have ever met. What did she know that we do not?

Intentionally focusing on being grateful has a tremendous impact on every aspect of our lives.  According to Amit Amin of Happierhuman.com, a study showed that a daily five-minute gratitude journal practice could increase your well-being by more than 10%. That is the same impact as doubling your income. He went on to add that gratitude makes us healthier. We have fewer ailments, less pain, more sleep, and the sleep we have is of a higher quality. Amin identified 31 benefits of having an attitude of gratitude ranging from personal happiness to increased productivity and career advancement.

A 2015 Newsweek article by Douglas Main reported that grateful people are not only healthier, but more hopeful. Athletes who expressed more gratitude toward their coaches had greater self-esteem. The article also noted grateful people tend to be more empathetic.

So how does it work? Well, my grandmother lingered over life’s blessings. It was that simple; she spent time reflecting on the blessings she had in her life. She would have had plenty to complain about, but she chose not to. She lived in the moment and didn’t dwell in the past or long for some future time. Being grateful allowed her to leave fear behind, even though a totalitarian regime took her father and brother away, never to be seen again.  As long as I was blessed to have her in my life, she was a joyful person. She was one of those people who brightened any room she entered.

The best way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. You are combining the benefit of reflection and journaling with the intentional act of creating a more positive mindset. Next week is Thanksgiving. Why not give it a try over the next week and let me know how you make out. You will not regret it. I promise!