My Story: Part One
Steve Maloney
My last blog introduced the idea of sharing your personal story with others. Sharing your story is a powerful way to influence, develop, and support those around you. We all have a story, and I’ve become more intentional than ever about sharing mine to build more meaningful connections with others. It has become a key part of the training and coaching sessions I lead. Just as important, I also want to hear other people’s stories. There is so much to learn from the experiences and lessons of others. It truly goes both ways, and that exchange can be incredibly powerful.
Last fall, Randy Wolken encouraged me to start writing this blog. Over the past several months, it’s been a rewarding way to capture my thoughts on leadership and share those with all of you. But if you really want to understand someone, you probably won’t find the most important details on their resume — or even on LinkedIn. You find them in the experiences that shape their perspective. So today, I’d like to share a few of those moments from my own journey.
To do that, I need to start with a moment when life became much deeper for me.
There comes a point when you realize life can present challenges that shake your faith and force you to wrestle with deeper questions. Questions like: What is fair and unfair? What meaning can we find in the things that happen to us? What is the real purpose of life?
My 30th year of life began on a high note. In March 2003, the Syracuse Orangemen won the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball national championship. As someone who bleeds Orange, it was an incredible time to be a fan of SU basketball.
Life off the court was going well for me too. I had my wonderful wife and two kids by my side, and my career was progressing with promotions and greater responsibility. At that point, I felt like I had everything figured out. I was confident and optimistic about everything ahead.
Then on June 24, 2003, my world turned upside down.
Over the weekend, my beloved mother, Lorraine, had been dealing with some neck pain and wasn’t feeling well. She called in sick on Monday. By that evening, she had suffered a massive brain hemorrhage and passed away at the age of 62.
She was a vibrant, healthy woman who had been looking forward to retirement. My father suddenly found himself without his wife, who had cared for him in so many ways. My siblings and I would need to support him in so many ways. His world was shattered and our lives were changed forever.
Thankfully, my family is very close. My wife and our two children were a major source of strength during that time. Even so, I was shaken to my core. Leaning on my faith became essential. I needed something steady to hold onto when everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.
Nearly 23 years later, I still feel the void left by her passing. Mother’s Day celebrations haven’t been the same since her passing and are always a reminder of the void. However, the lessons that stemmed from that experience have positively shaped me in so many ways.
One realization was that my story could help others. When people around me experienced the loss of a loved one, I found that I could connect with them differently. I could share my experience and offer support during some of the most difficult moments of their lives.
That experience also granted me a new perspective on the fragility of life. It was a reminder to never take my most important relationships for granted. I started to take more notice of the moments I spend with family, friends, and acquaintances.
I also used this experience to keep everything in perspective when business and career challenges arose. When business pressures or setbacks occurred, I could step back and remember what truly matters — and I often tried to encourage my teammates to do the same.
Losing my mother was deeply traumatic, but good also came from it. Even today, it remains an important part of my story and something I continue to draw from in many ways.
Unfortunately, more challenges would come my way later that year, and I will share that with you next time.
Stay tuned for Part two.