Are You Likable?
By: David Freund, Chief Leadership Officer
Seriously, are you a likable person? I know that sounds like a strange question, but have you ever thought about it? Some people are so likable and others, well, you just don’t like them. There is something about them that seems to push you away. On the other hand, there are some people that, well, you can take them or leave them. They are not annoying, and they don’t drive you away, but you would not seek them out on your own. So back to my question, are you a likable person?
Some years ago, when I was going through my John Maxwell certification, I was on a call with one of my mentors Ed DeCosta. Ed spoke about making a conversation about yourself when it should be about the other person. Ed set up the scenario like this: You have just returned from a trip to Bermuda, and you had an amazing time. During a conversation with someone, you hear that they are planning a trip to Bermuda in the coming months. Without hesitation, and without being asked, you jump right in and tell them all about your trip. As he shared the scenario, I realized that was me through and through. Then Ed asked, why are you making the conversation about you. It’s not about you; it has nothing to do with you. It’s about the other person and the excitement they are feeling about their upcoming trip. Wow, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I was pushing people away by always making myself the center of the discussion (that sounds so much better than saying I wasn’t likable, doesn’t it?).
Being likable can be learned. Yes, there are those people who are born with a likable personality and then there are the people, like me, who need to learn it. The process begins by raising your EQ, your Emotional Intelligence. By learning how you come across to others, and by being aware of how you are being received by them, you can hone your skills for being likable. It may take some time, but the effort is well worth it.
Join Marisa and me on The Next Page podcast as we look into ten ways you can become more likable and increase your influence with others.